I have been blogging about death for many years, but it seems truly relevant on a global level now. In general, death seems to be the most misunderstood part of life. The gamut of emotions felt after someone's death are tremendous. (Please note the picture above detailing the 5 stages of grief.) While there are so many ways of processing death culturally, life in the time of the Rona has turned everything around. People are not able to process and gather in the ways they would otherwise.
The grief we are processing is not only the deaths of various people we have lost, but we are also grieving our lives as we knew them. Loss of jobs, loss of income, living in fear of touch, et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum. While texting with a dear friend, she pointed out to me how she finds comfort in my words. She implored me to share them.
Here are my truths around death that comfort me. I have written some version of this in more sympathy cards, and Facebook messages/walls than I can recall over the years.
I believe that when someone dies, their essence is in the very air we breath. TAKE DEEP BREATHS. They are with you in a different way. The love you felt for them (and them for you) still exists. #loveNEVERdies Close your eyes, breath deeply, and revel in the memories you have shared. If there is something you did not say or do with them... SAY IT NOW. DO IT NOW.
All of the deaths in my personal life have taught me and shaped me. #siwelives I have become the Queen of Acceptance. I truly live these words daily, they are not merely hashtags. I live my life my urgently NOW. I am clear that tomorrow is NOT promised. Grief is a personal process and I am good when I am good and I am not when I am not. It is ok to NOT be ok. I give myself permission to be where I am. It seems simple but it is not always. I have my "grief toolkit," and I use resources readily available online from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Even if things have changed and you are mourning, you are here. You are reading this. You have breath. You have life. What will you do with this gift? I am not pushing productivity. I am promoting self-care, self-awareness, self-acceptance. I can be a resource for you. You are not alone. Let's talk.
I am living my life
INjoy,
dionne
Chief Joy Connector