Okay, that might seem ridiculous but so is my life.
This past weekend was celebrating three deceased individuals. My girlfriend who died suddenly. My grandmother who would have been 100. And my friend's sister who fought long and hard for cancer and unfortunately lost her battle. And then there was my cousin’s baby shower for his second child.
So I say all this to say, when you're preparing to be all over the place, several cities and two states, it’s wild.
Over the weekend I tried to get myself ready. One of the things I wanted to do was my nails. Getting a manicure is seemingly simple… IF you can find the time.
One of my girlfriends kept telling me how easy it was to do press-on nails. I was hesitant. I had a bunch of them in my drawer but never tried so we made a date. We would meet on zoom and she would hold my hand virtually.
I remember asking her if she needed to see my hands. No, she would just talk me through it. She did a great job talking me through it. When I sent her a picture of my hands she responded, “I think your nails are upside down.”
Now mind you, I kept thinking it was odd that the tips were so weak and kept bending. I also kept thinking it's bizarre that it's so thick by the cuticle and I'll need to file it down. I also wondered why they were these funny handles that were in the way when I pressed them down and I had to peel them off of the cuticles. SMH.
BUT AT NO POINT DID MY BRAIN THINK THEY WERE UPSIDE DOWN. SIGH.
I HAD TO POLISH THEM SO THEY WOULDN'T LOOK RIDICULOUS. I WAS PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY UPSIDE DOWN POLISHED SPARKLY NAILS.
That, my friends, was the beginning of my weekend celebrating three dead women and a baby shower. Oy vey. I will get my upside down nails professionally fixed before I try press-on nails again. SMH. Straight to infrared sauna and colon hydrotherapy then to the first celebration of life in my rental car.
After one celebration of life and the repast, I really felt broken. Visiting my grandmother’s gravesite the next day was surprisingly fun. We laughed, took pictures and told stories. We decided to take a detour on our way to the baby shower and visited 95 yr old Uncle Al. He was so happy. With our hearts full, we got to the baby shower and did more connecting, eating, dancing, and playing.
It was late once I’d dropped everyone off and found legal parking in the Heights. I woke up with an emotional hangover. I was so stiff from sitting and driving all day. I foam rollered myself and took a hot bath before dancing and singing for hours then heading to the final memorial. Whew. I ended the day in a friend’s backyard before they picked up the rental car.
So many beautiful people. So many good stories and she's still dead. She lives in our hearts, but she's dead. We find words to soften the harsh reality that we can no longer hug someone.
My emotions are like playing jenga. Right now the turmoil is piling up and I have small wins that diffuse the emotional deterioration. Small wins like receiving the sample card decks in the mail early or the beautiful fancy rental car that was an upgrade from the economy car I requested. Then there was the bouquet of white lilies I gifted myself and the 5-day cleanse from a friend. Wins take the edge off of the heart ache.
I do the work and the universe rewards me but it is still hard. I get up. I smile. I look good. I make people feel good and it's still hard. I remain thankful for the gifts from the universe.
Now I THINK I am “ready” for the 12th anniversary of my daughter’s death by suicide on June 19th. Whew. I have planned a fun activity the night before and the morning after. I planned a light day on Friday just in case of an emotional hangover and then… drumroll please…
I leave on Saturday for a week in Martha’s Vineyard with friends and family. WOOSAH!
I only have ONE meeting planned. It will be a mostly unplugged from normal life, grief recovery and reflection vacation with self. Good books, journals and more healing.
There are a LOT of benefits to unplugging! Some of you think that I don’t unplug enough, but I do. I unplug often in small ways for my mental, physical, and emotional health.
How do YOU unplug?
When do YOU unplug?
Author, Coach & Chief Joy Connector
P.S. I promised to loop back to Juneteenth, but rather than type all of that out… Here is the link from the speaking event that you might have missed, "Juneteenth is coming! Now what?" Let me know your thoughts. I am also curious to know what you did on Freedom Day aka Juneteenth 2023.
You can follow me and chat more on the following social media channels